Sometimes I wake up to the most unbearable of voices. Faint, but enough to hear the hatred in his and the pain in hers. I try to drift back asleep because I don't want to face the day for I know when I look into the eyes of the most beautiful woman in the world that my heart will break once again. His temper sometimes exceeding to an extreme making me want to run and hide with fear because I cannot stand the abusing words that come from his mouth. Is it too much to ask to be loved and cared for rather than hated and not? Though he says he cares I feel that he does not and I dream of the day he wakes up and realizes the pain he causes us. Each day that goes by the further we all drift away. Oh, how I love him more than words can say but one day enough will be enough. I just hope when that day comes it'll be a start to something better rather than something worse and that we all will be whole and happy again.

Hey everyone! Wow, I finally get a break from running around all day. This morning I woke up around 9 and got ready cause my mom wanted me to go to Wal Mart with her. Then, when we got home I went with my parents to the movies because they were taking my little brothers to go see Igor. For a kids movie it was ok. Wasn't anything special though. So that was pretty much my day. Now I'm just on here. Oh!! but you know what is sooooo freaking sweet, I got online and I had offline message from Alex saying "Me vuelves loco!!!". That just made my day. I wish I had gotten online earlier today and saw it, but oh well. I've been thinking about him constantly lately, haha. It's CRAZY, but heck I'm not complaining.

I was texting my old friend Sarah yesterday night. We use to be really close, but then we lost touch. But she was telling me about her boyfriend, Josh. Apparently it just got serious about a year ago, but it's a long distance relationship which I thought was interesting. She lives in New Jersey and he lives in Indiana... sooo like 13/14 hours from each other. But they see each other every few months. I saw on her facebook that her and Josh are going to be picking out rings, sooo I think they'll be getting married. I don't know when, but that's crazy to think about. I'm so happy it worked out for her, they are proof that long distance relationships can work. Just like Nikki and Greg. I think long distance relationships are very special, of course they are not easy. It takes commitment and determination to get through the challenges to make it work. Also, it takes faith.. knowing that God will work everything out sooner or later. But the thing about long distance relationships is when you finally get to see each other again it just makes it SO much more special and meaningful. I still think Sarah should wait a couple of more years to get married though because she is so young... she'll be turning 18 in February. I wouldn't want to get married that young, I'd say about 23/24 is a good age to get married. But everyone views things differently. I'm still very very very happy for her. I wish her the best and everyone else out there in a long distance relationship. Remember it can work, don't give up just because it's hard. Nothing in life comes easy my dears. Keep God close to your heart and you can achieve anything you dream of. 

 

Wow has it been awhile since I updated. I really don't have much to say at all though. That guy I use to always write about, Matt, ended things with me after like ignoring me for almost 3 weeks. It was very very hard on me, still is sometimes. I catch myself thinking of him sometimes and certian things remind me of him, but I know that us not being together is what is best. What sucks the most though is that he has made it really hard to trust anybody else, as far as guys go. Right now I have a protective wall around my heart and it'll probably take a lot to break it down.  I constantly ask myself why?? what did I do?? but then I have to stop myself and tell myself it isn't me, it's him. He is the one that is messed up and needs some help, which I hope he gets one day. =)

Anyways on a better note, last week I went on vacation to Branson,MO.. which was really awesome. I just love it up there, it's great!! We went to amusement parks, played mini golf, and went to this amazing church up there. I can't wait to go back which I hope is very very soon. Well I'm gonna end this. I'll update again soon, well maybe. haha. You know how that goes ;). Bye!!